PRODUCTION - RADIO SHOW SCRIPT

RADIO SHOW SCRIPT

VOICEOVER THEME TUNE

Person 1: The news is boring,

Person 2: And that my friends, is where we come in

Person 1: This is “It’s just banter… or is it”

*ALL ABOARD THE BANTER BUS. CHOO CHOO*

THEME TUNE PLAYS

Person 1: Good evening. And welcome to it’s just banter…or is it?

Person 2: The single most banterous, news breakdown, made for people like us

*Person 2: the millennial’s and snowflakes of the world*

Person 1: Cheeky bit of ASMR there for you

Person 2: Always

Person 1: I’m Shanai, prime banter supplier, politics fangirl, and just all around legend

Person 2: And I am Benjamin Hurst, the other prime banter supplier, and just a tad bit confused by politics

Person 1: Ahh don’t fret my pal, I’ve got us all covered, *bbc news sound* *Tweeting News sound effect*

The entire community Men are allegedly, quote unquote so tired, of hearing women say that all men are trash, and women’s response *How do you think we feel?*

Twitter user, fairycakes, detailed a thread of tweets, explaining the most outrageous experiences of working in the ancient store HMV. One of my favourite stories being, an old man,an o.a.p if you will, coming in every week and fainting in the adult movie section, of course, hoping to recieve mouth-to-mouth off of one of the female employees

HR are on to you my friend

And finally for the last story of Tweeting News,

A viral tweet going round this week, has stated that a serving of chips or *coughs* french fries (in strained voice*, is only 7 chips *gasp sound effect* I know, I know

Person 2: We are joined in the studio this week, by someone who inspires us all, and inspires old men like Piers Morgan, to gouge his eyes out, It’s honesty everybody!

*grasshopper sound effect*

Person 1: Sorry my bad, my finger slipped. It’s only our first episode guys, BBC haven’t quite given us the budget for a live studio audience just yet

*audience applause sound effect* Ah, that’s more like it

Person 3: Hiya, excited to be here. And in reference to the Piers Morgan thing, he only said that once when I triggered him over the vegan sausage roll on twitter, or maybe he’s just hating on the fact I’m a lesbian.

Person 1 and Person 2 laugh

Person 2: Right, let’s move on to the actual real news of the week and make fun of it shall we?

Person 3: We shall?

Person 1: Right answer!

Person 2: The idea is simple, we as an ensemble, consisting of your fave two presenters

Person 1: aye!

Person 2: And our most treasured celebrity guest

Person 3: Ahhh, i feel special!

Person 2: will Discuss 4 impactful,

Person 1: scandalous

Person 2: but not always crucial headlines of the week

Person 1: And let’s not forget our rather hilarious, and sometimes saucy segment, which involves you guys, #banterterrificnews

Person 2: Just tweet us with that hashtag, and a weird and random story, that might not make it on to the News at 10, with the chance of being featured in next weeks show


Person 1: So our first #notquiteaheadline of the week is, drum roll pls

*everyone make drumroll sound*

Person 2: Nigel Farage,*awkawrd cough* ,not always a crowd favourite, attacks, yes attacks, the royal family

Person 3: Gasp. Now this, this, is something I really wouldn’t expect from such a prestigious politician, are-are you sure you got that right?

Person 1: What on earth did he say?

Person 2: He called Meghan Markle ‘irrelevant’

Person 3: I mean, I should have guessed that, markle is the only way this man can force out his racist thoughts, without being called a racist, as every middle-class white man, seems to hates her, don’t know why tho

Person 1: because she’s black (whispered)

Person 2: And furthermore, called the Queen’s mumsy, ‘overweight’

Person 1: You’re kidding

Person 3: I mean come on! I know we are meant to be boycotting the monarchy but coming for a woman’s weight is a bit below the belt *ba dum tsst*

Person 1: Lord Sugar and Piers Morgan called, they want their fat shaming twitter fights copyrighted. *grasshopper sound effect* Nope, no takers

Person 2: Moving on…

Person 1: Also in this weeks news Donald Trump has had to confirm his love for his eldest daughter Tiffany



SEPARATE SHORT SEGMENTS

-Gary Headline
-Honesty talking about herself
-Reading headlines “In this weeks news Donald Trump has had to confirm his love for his eldest daughter Tiffany, after his ex-personal assistant claims he is ashamed of her weight *Emanuala am I getting fat? No, you’re not getting fat you’re already fat*”